.mencengkam.

malam deepavali yang sangat mencengkam kalbu.

macam-macam rasa muncul.

dah gaya sedih tak dapat beraya pun ade haaaa...

apekehal entah malam semalam aura sedih melampau.

nak kate stress, tidak lah pulak.

elok je siang tu huha-huha di pejabat.

tapi i realized something that lead to this perasaan.

bile ade yang petik pasal die je, mesti i dup dap dup dap.

i mean be it positive or negative things.

i yang lebih-lebih nak rase stress.

jadah ape entah!

padahal bukan ade ape-ape pun haaaa.

kawan pun main intai-intai.

inikan lagi bercinta tra la la!

perasaan ni melampau tau!

sampai i terjaga kul 4 am sebab mimpikan die!

dua kali dah haa jadi macam ni.

mimpi die marah i!

marah cara halus lah.

thru message.

i just can't remember sebab panjang nau mesej die haaa...

tapi gaya marah tu macam sebab i ada hati dengan dia.

macam haremmmmm!!

teruk sangat dah laa cik jaa ni.

be rasional buleh??

come to think for the whole day on deepavali, rasa macam nak dismiss haa perasaan ni semua.

biar tak tinggal sikit pun.

sebab nanar nye i sorang.

oke, ini memang tak betul.

come to think of it again, dah macam berputus asa dari rahmat Allah.

dah berputus asa dari berdoa.

dah berputus asa tanpa berusaha.

fine, i think my emotion is going overboard due to my period.

perlu stabilkan mental dan emosi ni haaa sebelum jadi lagi teruk.

perlu berfikir out of the box untuk cari nikmat di sebalik stress melampau ni.

perlu berfikir out of the box untuk cari pengajaran dan punca di sebalik kecelaruan nih.

yosssssshhhhhhhhh!!

dan tengahari tadi, i've posted this due to apa yang i rasa dalam hati besar ni haaa....

"come to this stage, i was felt like giving up. with uncleared and unsured fact, here this laughing part come to unbearable cry"

#mengendali hati tak pernah mudah kalau tak bersama Allah. yet, i'm just not tough enough to be brave. yosssssssshhhhhhh...お試しください

tup-tup die pulak post kan gambar yang tertulis ni haaaa....

"if plan A didn't work, the alphabet have 25 more letters. stay cool!"

it's right after four (4) minute my status has been posted. yeah, it might be bukan untuk i pun. but, i take it as he posted it for me. perasan dah haaaa -.-'' lepas baca those phrases terus rasa macam

"ha'ah, yang kau nak broke teruk sangat ni dah kenapa cik jaa?? banyak lagi buleh buat selagi bernafas ni"

i rasa i ni memang tahap nak kena lempang baru sedar sikit. tu pun kut sedar haa!!

hurm...perlu jadi lebih matang ni.

bak kate abang si sapit laa kan...matang lebih sikit!

adeh. jatuh tersadung ni haa.

tersembam buleh bangun balik!

jadi, mari strive back again!

again and again sampai lembik!

and on that time i know that i value myself for something worth to be fight!

notaKaki : sayang saya pada die, ikhlas kah?? kasih saya pada die, benar kah?? suka saya pada die, kenapa kah?? hanya Allah yang benar-benar tahu sebab hati ni sentiasa berbolak-balik. mohon ditetapkan rasa ini ya Allah. mohon ditetapkan rasa ini agar ia membawa kebaikan kepada kami berdua. ameennn ;)

one of my friend ask me with this question

"cik jaa kamu bila lagi??"

boleh tak kalau i nak jawab.......

"insyaAllah, coming soon juge. i aim for 2013. buleh camtu?? ;)"

he's flirting again. in other way!

he's been sweet today.

come to me after his game, tegur i and try to bermesra by trying to reach my dagu with his mineral water bottle. i yang sedang minum terkedu dan tataw nak bereaksi macam mana. hewhew~ i saw his eyes smiling to me. if we felt the same feeling, Alhamdulillah ;)

die tak pernah buat macam tu dengan i. even the others women team mate. pelik. tapi i risau kalau i sorang je yang perasan -.-''

harap-harap perasaan ni kekal hingga hujung usia ;)

notaKaki : ya Allah, aku mohon kau tetapkan dia untukku. aku mohon agar kau tetapkan hatinya untukku. ameennn...

notaKaki2 : buleh buat i angau sampai seminggu. time kasihhhhhhh laaaaahhh tuan!

oke, now i rasa scarry.

last nite while i'm texting one of my badminton mate's, he popped up with the question.

"skandal dengan aisbatu ye??"

i was like... hello!! out of nowhere, suddenly u ask this?? hailaaaa...

"ayat macam sama je...alaaa...lagi pun satu bangunan dah tawu"

what the smurf?? eh, kejadah ape ni?? celah mane pulak diorang dapat information ni??

eh, gossip ni pelik oke! sangat-sangat pelik! i even didn't admit anything pon.

yes, i memang berkawan dengan dia. that what i said to others.

but, the way they twisted the statement buleh bikin keadaan tak senang duduk.

thank god i'm staying outside the parent company building! -.-''

notaKaki : this is scarry ouh! btw, thanks people for the good prayers ;) really apreciated it!

Putrajaya Night Marathon 2011

it was last night - 15 Octo 2011.

the venue was at Putrajaya, of course. starting point was at Palace of the Justice, to be specific.

it's 5km. i bajet i can run for 3k non-stop due to my fitness! ecececey.....

dah lama berlari tu, i perasan satu signboard which showed

"40km to go"

dangggg!! what the smurf??

i bersungguh berlari tak henti dengan harapan maybe dah 3k or nearly 4. unfortunately, it just 2k after all. maksudnya, all this while yang i duk training bagai tu mungkin 2k je lah kan?? wuuuuwuuuuwuuuu.....

but thank god, since i prepared for this event, tak lah teruk sangat saket-saket badan-sendi-tulang-kaki semua. i takut jugak kalau-kalau lepas lari i akan cramp untuk separuh hari. haha!

but yeah, my ankle as usual saket sikit laaa...and anothers part of my body went well before-during-after the race ;)

i sebenarnya sedang mencari aktiviti untuk memnuhkan masa bersama diri sendiri!

i just need that since i can't go to any vacation for this year.

rasa macam puas hati dapat perabih duet untuk diri sendiri ;)

i was about starting my engine to enjoy all the things, i mean the adventure one laaa before i setle down. kehkehkeh! jauh berangan yo!

sebelum lari buleh la kau sengih. ce tengok lepas lari haaaa....mintak nyawa kauuuuu!!!!

notaKaki : will walk for the charity soon. insyaAllah ;) let's change people!

thank you ais batu for making my day yesterday.

thank you for flirting with me!

letih boleh hilang macam tu aje ;)

insyaAllah, i akan sayang u every single day.

i will sayang u with my heart.

just be safe, "noble of descendence"!!

let's appreciate what i have so far.

i love 'em all. call it present or souvenir. i just don't care.

first, it's from azah who went to japan for holiday. arigatou ne, azah-chan!

the black and gorgeous one is from angah. friend of bangah who went for europe trip. thank you so much angah!

third and last one i had so far is from nikman. long-last-friend..kut?? sebab kami tak pernah jumpa since kenal. kenal pun through friendster back to 2004/2005. he went to france for study-thingy-things since 2005 and just came back here mid of 2011.hewhew! merci beucop, nikman!

it just 3 of 'em so far. i was in love with them. the material, indeed. can't thank enough to all of you who still remember me! thank you pal, buddy and friend!

notaKaki : sedang tunggu Uyeno-Eki! ;)

ntah cane pagi-pagi sabtu tu mimpi sedih.

mimpi kena marah dengan ais batu.

die tak marah direct pun.

sound like perli lah kan.

tapi bergenang air mate taw.

bangun-bangun tu terus macam terkejut and rase nak nanges.

air mata bergenang kut!

notaKaki : bengs betul!!

tomorrow die ade test.

jadi, mari doakan die dipermudahkan untuk jawab soalan test tersebut.

he further degree in finance!

i am bad with finance -.-''

go 'noble of descendance' go!

i pray for you no matter what ;)

best of luck!

notaKaki : perasaan ni kadang-kadang boleh buat i jadi tak tentu arah. akal kena kuat untuk kawal tindakan! fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

oke, i mengada nak taw result BWF Indonesia GP Gold!

ikutkan, i boleh check online or else tunggu newspaper esok je.

btw, i tak beriya sangat pun nak taw sebab i rasa macam die takkan reply my chat.

i merengek kat die

"tade lah live streaming astrosupport"

"dah balik rumah yang tade astro"

"nanti tolong hapdet ye"

i classified itu merengek dan mengada i. dan i tak buat benda ni dengan semua orang.

my level of maturity will be differrent when i'm with differrent people.

but dengan die, mule-mule i takut. takut die fikir luar alam kang.

tapi cannot ressist lah! i buat jugak. haha!

lucky me, he layan jugak lah mengada i ni. hehe.

thank you Allah.

Alhamdulillah ya Allah untuk senyuman ini ;)

notaKaki : benda toet je die buat, tapi i senyum lebar! Alhamdulillah ;)