.rasa dari dalam.

hurm...actually sudah mengantuk tp rase seperti maw menulis.last few days i meet one of my best friends.i bring along my laptop which is the background inside is picture of him.when the background appeared, she said "ish...x suke la gamba nih!!". i was like "erk...why??salahkah??".i keep the sentence inside and just make a smiley face.the truth is i can hide my feeling no more but i dont want to make it clear to all people.because it may hurt some people.so, i hope some respect from other people.it's my lappy and of course i can do anything i want.maybe you concern about me,thank you mate.but in the same time i beg for the understanding completely.maybe we can say we make the decision and it's all up to yourself how your feeling or howyour life gonna be.
i do choose to leave it as a past but it always haunt me like i'm not over with the feeling yet.if i'm not moving forward,maybe i will not try to build another relationship.it was a fact that i've tried.but somehow it didn't work.maybe u will say that i'm doing useless thing but can you feel like what i feel just now??i'm not the type of person who can easily love people.so,maybe i am the one who not understand the feeling of yours - seeing me lost with my own feeling.i've tried to make all people live their life happily even i am the one who should sacrifice my own feeling.it's even harder than say.
for time being,what i can say is i start to realize one of the reality in life.a new things to explore,perhaps.jujur dgn hati,rasional dgn akal.sbb dua benda ni, i am who i am right now.left the thing in past and try hard to make a better life.eventhough sometimes the past keep haunt me,make tears and disturb my deep sleep.maybe some people around will disagree with the way i think but back to the nature,i choose what i'm going to be and how my life is going to be.i take it as a fate.maybe this is the best for my life.i ask for the things that will make my life good but He give me the things will make me become stronger and apreciate what i have right now.it was thousand times great than what i'm asking.kadang2 kita menangis bila tuhan turunkan hujan.tetapi kita x sedar yg rupa2nya tuhan nak bagi matahari.which is a good sign for your life.so,praise to god with what you have now.

sorry to kawan2 yg rasa i am selfish and not let go the past yet.i've tried but it seems like i'm not ikhlas enough.not really want to set it free.not strong enough to left it behind.sorry,my bad.please,i need you guys and in the same time i also need the understanding from you.

p/s:erti sebenar menyayangi adalah dgn melihat dia gembira dan bahagia walaupun kita menangis luka.lebih separuh dr hati ni ade die rupenye.maaf,selama ni x sedar.